


Oops! All Masterminds!

by Snomnom



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different Mastermind (Dangan Ronpa), Crack, F/F, Iruma Miu's Dirty Mouth, New Dangan Ronpa V3 Spoilers, One Shot, gonta and tenko get rights purely because im love them, himiko has a breakdown then rides off with her gay lover and 2 robots, kaito mcfucking dies, you're a mastermind! and you're a mastermind! everyone's a mastermind!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:08:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23869540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snomnom/pseuds/Snomnom
Summary: It's the final chapter! The mastermind, Tsumugi Shirogane, is revealed! ....and then the mastermind, K1-B0 is revealed. And then Shuichi Saihara. And then Maki Harukawa. And then....Himiko doesn't know what's going on anymore.
Relationships: Chabashira Tenko/Yumeno Himiko
Comments: 16
Kudos: 193





	Oops! All Masterminds!

"Ahahahahahah! So, you finally discovered that I, plain old Tsumugi Shirogane, the Ultimate Cosplayer, am actually the Mastermind?!" The bespectacled bluenette cackled, her glasses shining evilly.

This was it. The final trial, the final showdown. Himiko, along with Saihara, Kiibo, and Maki, were going to stop this killing game no matter what.

"But you should know....I had an accomplice!" Tsumugi said, putting her hands up like an anime villain and grinning.

"Wh-no way!" Himiko said, shocked, "W-we would never!"

Tsumugi grinned, pointing directly to Kiibo, the Ultimate Robot.

"Hehehe, not on purpose! But you, Kiibo, have been remote controlled by the loyal fans of Danganronpa from the start! In a way, you ARE a second mastermind! Especially all those times I hacked you to help me with my plans....."

Kiibo looked in horror.

"Y-you what?! How dare you violate my rights like that!" He exclaimed, jabbing an accusatory finger at Tsumugi.

"Kiibo, is this true?" Maki asked, glaring.

"I-I think so....now that she brings it up, it's unlocked my memory banks....I really have been just feeding the Danganronpa craze....my actions dictated to keep the game going...."

Kiibo slumped in defeat as Tsumugi let out a sinister laugh once more.

"Oh, the look on your face! This despair is priceless!"

Himiko shivered. How long had Kiibo been controlled? Was he even a person, or just the will of whoever controls him?

Suddenly, another laugh cut through the air, Shuichi doubling over.

"What's so funny, Shuichi?" Tsumugi asked, looking cross.

"Hehehe...hehehahahhAHAHAHAHAHAH! YOU COMPLETE _FOOLS!_ " Shuichi bellowed, a manic smile stretching along his face. "You were never the true mastermind, Tsumugi! _I_ WAS!"

Tsumugi reeled back in shock.

"W-what?! But....the cases...."

"Just me having a good show of it! Keeping the game alive, yknow?"

Himiko looked in horror. She had trusted Shuichi! And now he was the true true mastermind behind all this? Himiko honestly didn't know what to think....

Tsumugi slammed her fist on the podium.

"NO! I wrote the season, and I'm the mastermind! Not you!"

Maki coughed.

"I....is it a bad time to mention I'm the real mastermind?" She said.

Everyone just stared blankly.

"....what?"

Maki shrugged.

"I set up this killing game. I just let you think that you were the masterminds so you wouldn't interfere with my plans."

"Wait, but why are you telling us now?" Shuichi asked.

"Your bickering was getting boring."

"And....what about Kaito?" Tsumugi inquired.

"Faked it. I'm not even into men." Maki said apathetically.

"....ah." Tsumugi said, looking awkward. "So....where does this leave us?"

Himiko was still trembling.

"S-so you're ALL the masterminds?!"

Kiibo crossed his arms.

"Hey, I didn't know!"

Maki shrugged once more, rolling her eyes for good measure.

"Well, now that we've established I'm the true mastermind, we can-"

Suddenly, the door was kicked open by none other than.....Kokichi, who's outfit was now half black half white, and who had a golden crown balanced on his purple hair!

"Nishishishishi! You idiots really thought you were the masterminds?! It was me all along! I mean, my title was Ultimate Supreme Leader! How could I not have been the mastermind?!" He cackled.

Monokuma, who had been silent on the throne, had perked up at seeing him.

"Nice outfit!" The bear said, to which Kokichi responded with a thanks and little bow.

"Wait, I shot you!" Maki exclaimed.

"I was wearing an arrow-proof vest! Oh, and I just put Space Case's jacket and some bloodbags under the hydraulic press, fyi." Kokichi explained casually.

Maki gritted her teeth.

"Ugh, I looked forward to killing you the most, and you take that away from me?!"

Kokichi grinned.

"It's what I do! Now, since we established _I'm_ the real mastermind, let's get down to busi-" He said, before he was interrupted by another door being kicked open.

"HEY BITCHES!" Screamed Miu Iruma, only in a black and white jumpsuit and with some Monokuma head decals in her hair, "THE MASTERMIND IS FUCKING HERE!"

"W-wait no! I'm the mastermind, you skank!" Kokichi said, as Himiko stood there, confused.

"Pfft, like anyone but the gorgeous girl genius could build all this cool shit! Face it, twink, I'm the mastermind! I just had you all do the grunt work for me so I could stay undetected!"

Tsumugi had her head in her hands.

"No, again, I'm the mastermind! Also, didn't you die?" She asked, pointing at Miu.

Miu chuckled to herself.

"Can't die in VR, Plain Jane. Anyway, what do we do now, virgins?"

Once more, a door was kicked open. Himiko wondered where they kept coming from.

"We reveal that I WAS THE MASTERMIND!" Said Rantaro, clad in a white and black Monokuma hoodie. "I let you all think I died to lie low and....wait, what's going on here?" He said, spying the others.

Shuichi looked around, confused.

"Did we always have this many doors....?"

Tsumugi sighed, already tired.

"Wh-I bludgeoned you! Look, I'm the mastermind! Not Kokichi, not Miu, not Rantaro, and not any of you! It's me, and Kiibo being used as my co-mastermind. Got it?!" She said, frazzled.

Just then, a panel in the center of the trial grounds opened, and Kirumi rose up, clad in a white and black dress with matching gloves and a little Monokuma head decal on her headband.

"Ah, so you've figured out that I, Kirumi Toujo, am the true mastermind! I put you through this to judge who would be the best among you to form the elite of my new society and....wait, did I miss something?" She said, looking around her.

"Yeah, you missed me being the real mastermind!" Kokichi said, stomping his foot.

"No, me!" Miu insisted.

"I....I could've sworn it was me." Rantaro said, as Maki shrugged.

Kaede popped her head out of the ceiling.

"....should I wait a bit?"

Tsumugi put her head on the podium.

"Lemme guess, you faked your death and are also the mastermind?"

Kaede slid down a chain that came down from her hole in the ceiling, dressed in a Mastermind version of her ensemble, and rubbed her arm shyly.

"Uhhh....yeah, pretty much."

At this point, Himiko was huddled on the ground in the fetal position as Kiibo awkwardly tried to comfort her.

Shuichi rubbed his temple.

"Ugh, you're ruining my perfect killing game! We can't have 8 masterminds!" He complained.

"YOUR killing game?! This is my killing game, Shithara!" Miu screamed back.

"No, it's mine!" Kaede said, crossing her arms as the gaggle of masterminds descended into angry squabbling.

Tsumugi just groaned.

"Look, Saihara's a mastermind, Kaede's a mastermind, Miu's a mastermind, _I'M_ a mastermind! Are there any other masterminds I should know about?!"

As soon as she finished saying that, the throne that held Monokuma ejected with a springy noise, as Angie Yonaga came up seated on a new cushion ascending from below.

"Nyahahaha! Angie made this killing game as a blood sacrifice for her true god! Despair! Angie knew that if she played the fool, no one would suspect her!" She gloated, smiling evilly, "Now, bow before your new....wait, is that Rantaro?"

Rantaro waved.

"Sup."

"Angie thought you died!"

Rantaro shrugged.

"I got better. Also, I'm the mastermind."

Angie looked cross.

"No, I'm the mastermind!" She said, "Stop lying!"

Miu elbowed Angie's side.

"That's what I said." She commented tiredly.

As she said that, Korekiyo, dressed in mastermind attire as well, stepped out from behind the throne.

"Okay, so I was going to reveal I was the Mastermind, but....we clearly are having some problems here." He said.

Himiko looked over.

"K-korekiyo?! Did you do this for your sister or something?!"

Korekiyo chuckled.

"Keheheheheh.....no, that was merely a way to make you think I was insane and would not plan this! Brilliant move, right?"

Angie looked curiously.

"....Angie is pretty sure just faking your death would do it, Kiyo."

Kiyo suddenly stopped.

".....wait, was this all pointless?"

Everyone nodded nervously.

Korekiyo rubbed the back of his neck.

"Ah. I....may have made some errors."

"Yeah, like one of them being calling yourself the mastermind! That's my job!" Said Kokichi angrily, kickstarting more arguments.

Himiko sobbed on the floor.

"I just wanna go home...."

"Great, ya broke Himiko!" Angie said, "Angie actually likes her!"

Shuichi sighed.

"Okay, okay. So....is anyone else here a Mastermind?"

Ryoma, wearing a Monokuma beanie, casually sauntered in.

"Yo." He said, chewing a candy cig.

"Oh, you've gotta be shitting me!" Miu said, "You got eaten by piranhas!"

Ryoma smiled.

"Fake skeleton covered in meat and clothes, along with a synthetic skin. Anyway, I made this killing game to punish you all, since you're all amnesiac members of the mafia gang that killed my family. What are you guys talking about?"

Tsumugi began flipping through a script frantically.

"I....what?! That's not in here!"

Suddenly a mechanical Gonta walked in.

"Friends! Gonta survived and uploaded Alter Ego to robot body Gonta found!"

Maki cocked an eyebrow.

"And what's your motive for being the mastermind?"

Gonta looked confused.

"Gonta no mastermind. Gonta just robot now!"

Kiibo walked over, admiring Gonta.

"Ooooh, nice build....would you like to join me in campaigning for robot rights?" He asked.

Gonta smiled.

"Gonta would love t-" He said, before being interrupted by a crash.

The Monokubs jumped through a window into the room.

"We, the Monokubs, are the real masterminds!" They said, recieving nothing but blank stares and one gasp from Gonta. Himiko was still crying in a corner.

".....wait, we are?" Monotaro asked, genuinely confused.

Tsumugi groaned.

"Okay, okay, anything else? Anyone else here gonna say they're the mastermind or some shit?!" She asked, yanking at her hair.

The door closed, and was then kicked open again as Kaito entered.

"The Luminary of Despair, Kaito Momota, is he-" He said, before coughing up blood and falling over.

Tsumugi cringed.

"Ah....the death disease."

Everyone just looked awkward about it.

Himiko then got up, at her limit with all this.

"Okay, so did no one actually die?! Are you all just the masterminds?!" She exclaimed angrily.

The wall then caved in as a giant tank burst through, crushing the prone Monokuma and 3/5 Monokubs.

Tenko popped out of the top hatch.

"Himiko, my love, I'm here with the Future Foundation! We're here to save you! I had to fake my death to get out, but I've come back for you!"

Himiko sighed, just throwing her hands in the air.

"Fuck it. I give up, let's go." She said, climbing up into the tank with Kiibo and Gonta, who were excitedly chatting about robot rights.

Tenko pressed a kiss to Himiko's forehead as they drove away, leaving the Future Foundation to deal with several very confused Masterminds.

\---------------------------

_Meanwhile, at Team Danganronpa Headquarters......_

"So....you double checked the scripts, right? Didn't mix them up or anything?" An exec of Team Danganronpa asked an intern, who suddenly broke into a sweat.

".....shit."

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in under an hour after midnight. forgive it being short but i thought it was funny ok.


End file.
